The Pain of Separation
One day in Vṛndāvana, Rādhārāṇī was burning in the fire of separation from Kṛṣṇa. For many days She had not seen Him, and Her heart could bear it no longer. Every breeze from the forest reminded Her of His touch, every song of the birds carried the melody of His flute.
Her sakhīs, Lalitā and Viśākhā, tried to console Her, but Her tears would not stop. “My beloved friends,” She said, “I cannot live without seeing Kṛṣṇa even for a moment. What is the use of this body if it cannot bring Me to Him?”
Her eyes were swollen from weeping, Her face pale like a moon covered by clouds. Seeing Her in such distress, the sakhīs felt helpless. Viśākhā whispered, “My dearest Rādhe, Kṛṣṇa is now in the forest near Nandagrāma with His cowherd friends. If we can somehow reach Him, You will be comforted.”
But Lalitā said, “How can we go there? Jaṭilā, Your mother-in-law, guards You constantly. And even if we escape, the gopas will recognize You. The only way is through disguise.”
Subāla’s Arrival
Just then, by divine arrangement, Subāla-sakhā, one of Kṛṣṇa’s dearest cowherd friends, appeared. Seeing the gopīs’ sorrow, he bowed respectfully and said, “O Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, Kṛṣṇa has sent me to convey His message. He too is suffering unbearable separation. He sits beneath a banyan tree, calling Your name and weeping. He begs You to come to Him at once.”
At these words, Rādhā’s tears turned to joy. Yet She sighed, “But how can I go? I am trapped in this house. If Jaṭilā or Abhimanyu sees Me, all of Vraja will speak ill of us.”
Subāla thought deeply and said, “There is one way—if You take my clothes and disguise Yourself as me, You can walk freely to the forest. None will recognize You.”
Rādhā Disguised as Subāla
With the help of Her sakhīs, Rādhārāṇī dressed in Subāla’s yellow dhotī and put on his turban and ornaments. Her golden hair was hidden under a cloth, and a small calf was placed in Her arms to complete the disguise.
Looking at Herself in the mirror, She smiled softly. “Now,” She said, “even the eyes of love cannot recognize Me.” Subāla then took Rādhā’s veil and ornaments and remained behind, appearing like a gopī.
Thus disguised, Rādhārāṇī stepped out of the house. The villagers greeted Her, thinking, “Ah, Subāla is taking a calf to the pasture.” None suspected the divine secret hidden within that form.
The Meeting in the Forest
When She reached the grove near Nandagrāma, She saw Kṛṣṇa sitting beneath a banyan tree, His eyes filled with tears, His flute lying forgotten in His lap. The moment He saw Her, He rose in astonishment.
“Subāla! You have come so quickly—but where is My Rādhā?”
Rādhā smiled and whispered, “I am here, My Lord.” Removing the turban from Her head, She revealed Her golden hair and radiant face. Kṛṣṇa’s eyes widened in wonder and joy. “O My Rādhe! You risked everything to come to Me! How merciful You are.”
They embraced tenderly beneath the shade of the banyan tree. The forest itself seemed to awaken—the flowers bloomed brighter, the birds sang sweeter, and even the Yamunā flowed more softly. The air was filled with the fragrance of love.
The Return to Yāvaṭa
After some time, as the sun began to set, Rādhā prepared to return home. Again She put on Subāla’s garments, took the calf in Her arms, and quietly walked back. Subāla, who had been waiting, exchanged clothes once more and bowed before Her. “You have fulfilled Kṛṣṇa’s heart,” he said. “May this secret remain hidden forever within the love of Vraja.”
When Rādhā returned to Her home, no one noticed a thing. Jaṭilā, seeing “Subāla” walking out earlier, simply thought, “Ah, the cowherd boy came to borrow milk again.” The divine play remained unseen by all but the most fortunate.
Theological Meaning
This pastime reveals the extraordinary boldness of divine love. Rādhārāṇī, the embodiment of modesty, willingly abandoned all conventions to meet Kṛṣṇa. Her disguise as Subāla symbolizes how true devotion transcends external appearances—only love itself matters.
In this act, She also revealed the perfect harmony between Kṛṣṇa’s friends (sakhās) and His beloveds (sakhīs). Subāla represents pure friendship; Rādhā represents pure love. Together, they show that every relationship with Kṛṣṇa, whether as friend, servant, or lover, leads to the same divine union.
Reflection
Śrīla Prabhupāda explains that when love for Kṛṣṇa matures, the soul is willing to risk everything—comfort, reputation, even life itself—to serve Him. Rādhārāṇī’s disguise teaches that love finds a way even when the world forbids it. Her courage is born not of passion but of surrender.
Let us pray:
“O Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, please bless me with such boldness of heart—to overcome all fear and hypocrisy and to approach Kṛṣṇa in pure devotion. Let my outer life be humble and simple, but let my inner life be ablaze with longing for His presence. May I learn, like You, that true love hides not in appearance but in the courage to serve.”
